Yep, I managed to disappear again. Well
done me. I’m full of those damn good intentions, in that I prop my copy of
Blyton on my desk (where it will shame me for not writing up the next chapter)
and SWEAR that I will write it TONIGHT … then decide at 10pm that I really
couldn’t do the chapter justice and I really should watch the next episode of
the latest K-Drama I’m hooked on. Life is tough when there’s K-Drama about …
So anyway, I left you on something of a
cliff hanger last time, what with the dreaded school meeting coming up and
everything. This meeting IS the entire chapter. And I can tell you – I would
never send my precious spawn (should they one day exist) within ten miles of
this hell-hole.
So, it’s a school run by children – and
what do they do? Adopt the trappings of their lost grown ups (three teachers
sit up the back during this thrilling chapter, but “did not seem to be taking a
great deal of notice of what was going on.” Of course not – why do the job
you’re paid to do if you can get minions to do it for free?). Two judges
(merry-eyed William and grave-looking Rita – William sounds like a bit of a
smarmy git, just from that description), a bunch of monitors (we’ve met them
before), and a gavel (because you can’t be an official without a wooden hammer
– I like to think it’s a meat tenderizer nicked from the kitchen …). To be
honest, it’s one conch shell away from a desert island.
And
they have RULES! You HAVE to obey the monitors (with no explanation as to the
limits of their power and what they can order you to do), and all bad behaviour
is reported and dealt with at these meetings – trial by mob. OH! But wait –
reporting any person is encouraged with these words:
“Please be sure you understand the
difference between a real complaint and telling tales, because telling tales is
also punished”
I’m not sure I understand the difference.
Given the casual acceptance of institutionalised bullying and violence, how do you
suppose a whistle blower would fare in that environment? This place sends
shivers down my spine – SHIVERS I tell you!
On another note – Elizabeth is an
ovine-minded moron. The girl doesn’t talk, she bleats! Take this little gem,
for instance: there’s a sign up for the meeting which says “Bring all the money
you have” (I’ll get to this little rort in a moment), and Elizabeth does! She
tells herself that she won’t hand it over, of course, but then why take it at
all? The girl is just plain dumb. Seriously, you take your money somewhere
where you know it’s going to be taken? Good grief, I want to send the idiot an
email telling her that I‘m a Nigerian prince. Although, she might not go for
that particular line … all foreigners being evil and all.
As for the rort – well here’s where we get
to the fun bit – and the title
of this post. It turns out that this place
is not a school, it’s an
extortion racket. All the kids are forced
to put all their money into a box and it gets doled back out to them in set
pocket money. A tad commie for comrade Enid there, but it’s ostensibly and
egalitarian idea. Until you learn that no-one seems to be responsible for the
accounting of this slush … er trust account. I bet merry-eyed William gets his
grubby little paws all over the dosh and gets his ciggies and gin on these
proceeds of extortion.
And you remember fat Ruth – of course you
do, her main character trait is that she’s fat (remember, this is Blyton – and
in this book we also have Nora, who is Irish). Anyway, it struck me as odd that
Blyton would allow such an obviously undesirable person to be part of the right
minded majority – Enid being supremely superficial and all. In this chapter I
figured it out. She volunteers to do the dirty work. Who volunteers to prod
Elizabeth when she doesn’t stand up and sit down with the other lemmings? Ruth.
When someone has to shake Elizabeth down for her money, guess who jumps at the
chance to do the shaking down? You guessed it. “Nice” people don’t stop to
scuffling over a few shillings – it’s undignified and vulgar – they just leave
it to the eager underling who yearns for nothing so much as acceptance … AND
they’d have to have some horrific physical deformity such as Ruth’s to be
qualified to do the job. Ruth’s overwhelming subservience to the regime is what
marks her as acceptable – she knows her place and doesn’t presume to aspire to
the big table … but everyone needs a flunkey …
Anyway, Elizabeth refuses to hand over her
cash (until Ruth forks her purse and dumps it by the box), and states that she
thinks the idea is silly and will not be complying. Well, you can almost hear
the chant of “kill the pig” starting up in the mob. Elizabeth also announces
that she’s going to run away home, at which point her money is placed firmly
beyond her reach into the slush fund – and she’s denied pocket money for the
week. With, of course, the threat of further punishment to come. Because it can
always get worse in Blytonia.
So now our heroine is trapped like Jonathon
Harker in Dracula’s castle (guess what I’m reading right now) and is doomed to
spend at least another chapter being stood over by the Boarding school Gestapo.
To be honest, I have to say I’m glad she
stands her ground in public. It’s the first actual rebellion you see from the
girl, and if she could just keep it up, I’d love her forever. Alas, I feel
social conditioning coming on ...
